sorie guys..
sometimes loving means letting it go
ive loved u guys too much
and i know
i have to let u guys go
u guys really did a great job having patience with me
u guys bare my stupidness
my follishness
my rudeness
and aniting bad as u can think
i really love u guys
i really do
i guess u guys have had enough
i shall not let u guys suffer anymore
coz
i should be glad for all uve guys done
everytime that i teared u were there
u guys did a great job
well done people
keep up the good job
but i guess
all good things have to come to an end
and an end is what ive reached
thx for the advises
thx for the hugs
thx for the fun
thx for the laughters
thank u
for everything
and best of all
thank u
to the one who made me realise my love for u guys
thank u
and here i am letting u guys off
ur lifes dun revolve around me
so yeap
i know that u guys can make it tru without me
okae thx guys
loves

well guess what nisah even not a bitch saes u suck
U SUCK NISAH GET THE FACT NISAH
AND NOTHING THAT U DO CAN MAKE IT RIGHT
U CAN KEEP ON RANTING FOREVER
CRY FOEVER

NOTHING WILL GO RIGHT
yes i know i suck and since eveyone wants a change
ill change
ill show the real me
but dun u regret it
dun ever regret for asking the real me to come
coz by then ill be gone
gone forever

im a changed me
dun ask me why
dun tell me any advises from now on
ill just be me
the real me
ill be fierce
ill be quiet
ill be mean when u talk to me
since thats the way u guys want it
ill give it

and guess what
now i freaking dun care if u guys want to treat me like
rubbish
or even treat me like deep or prisca
I FEAKING DUN CARE
dun ask me to go lunch with anyone
dun call me a baatch
dun call me a bestfriend
dun call me a sister
im just hanisah
and i have no relations with
U
do i even freaking know u
well guess what
i know that I DUN KNOW U
ur just a freaking stranger in my life
thx ilham
for bringing up the topic
and making the real me come out
seriously
thx
its been aching and dying to come out and take over me
ull never know what i feel
never
coz im a changed me.

lifes freaking tiring nowadays
exams coming up in abt 22 days
i still haven start mugging...gosh
damn it!
icas still around
killing me each and every second
lifes suck now

but looking from a brighter side of life

schools ending soon anywae
holidays are coming
icas are gonna be over soon
very very soon
ill be free

i seriously want to go out man
but i just dont have the time
I WANT TO GO SWIMMING!!!!!!!!!
but
work has to be done
done before i can relax
off to do my icas yaw
nites peeplings(:
before that
just some things(:

for you...
when are you coming boy
im waiting okae
ill wait for u even if it takes my whole life
i know you are sumwhere out there
searching high and low
but sumtimes
u cant see now
maybe im just right in front of you
and you
right in front of me
maybe time will reveal
who you really are
i really wanna know who you are
and love
love you for the way you are
i wanna know you boy
come and take me away to the
fairytale ive been waiting to experience
take me to the stage
where noone have been with you
lets act out our play when we meet
a play that can never be re-enacted
a play that can never be written
a play that only u and me will never be seperated
ill just sit down here
and wait for you
ill wait
aniwhere you are
whoever you are
i love you(:

it finally ended
what we prepared for two months
ended within an hour

but the satisfaction and the fun i felt during the production
really
made me happy
just for that moment
i was thrilled

i could just continue shouting
all nite
but besides the happiness
lies sadness

sadness caused by uncompleted stuff

code of ethics
journal
marketing scrapbook

marks
flying away
just like that

i shall not deny anymore
i admit
ii do need sumone
i do need a shoulder
i do need hugs
i need support
i need a pillar of strength
i need a reason to smile
i need everything that youve got

please come and take me away
take me to a land ive never been
where i can totally express my real feelings
to sum1 hu can understand me
give me a helping hand
give me a chance to be loved and love u
im trying my best to hold on
ouh hero
please come quick
save me from myself
listen to my sorrows
feel my sadness
hear me
the real me
im waiting for u to come
so dun keep me waiting
coz my hand might slip as its getting harder to hold on
whoever u are
i love you

i used to be hyper
i used to be crazy
i used to be cheeky
but
allthoseareinthepastnow
nolongerhyper
nolongercrazy
nolongercheeky

just me

the real side i guess
ill grant all ur wishes
every single of it

i guess
ihavetobidfarewell

no more
no more
no more

im too much
i hurt u guys alot
sorry
im taking a step back now
enjoy your life
coz i wont disturb u
not animore

farewell
from:hanisah

i guess u cant expect everyone to like u
i understand

ookae yesterday was my first stage arts practice at the TFA(Theatre For The Arts)
well at first it was fun
den my mood change
well i guess its just my monday blues
ya i din feel so well
but after doing stupid stuff like dancing ard at the backstage..
it was fun when u had sumone to dance crazyly like u
den clubbing scene
like duh
u dun see TUDUNGS dancing so much at CLUBBS
i guess im not the first but one of them hu does
even anjana sae i club better than her
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
den it was restaurant scene it was okae
making fun of kakak
HAHAHA
sorry kakak xP
there were some changes during scene 7 like the layout of the chairs the carpet
the arch
everything had to be change to suit the tfa stage
i guess things are better now after that talk
thx anjana
thx kaye
thx liana
thx jessica/christina/rose
thx farah
i guess
i am right abt my opinion and desicion
i dun HATE ANIONE in stage arts
coz i dun have too
they are all so lovable(;
just hope that thigs get better
and i will get to pump more effort today(:

how i wished he cud understand that im lying
i always speak what my mind saes
but not what my heart saes
coz noone knows
im a shy girl inside
only those close to me knows
what a coward i am in this kinda things
i just everything to get better
i guess
it will all get better in time(;

im very very very happy today
happy happy happy
ive got a dress
ive got a blouse
yippee
so happy
thx mummy love u muacks(; hehehehe

well
i miss my friends a lot
but im so sorry
ive been so caught up with my own life
i forgot abt our lifes
our promise we made
i promise
i will spend time soon with u guys ookae(:
syg korang semua(:

first of all
i really wnat to apologise for that post abt...
i was really stress lah
and i needed to talk abt it
so i blogged abt it
but uve got to understand

im sum1
hu will hate sumthing
before i slowly fall in love with it
so yeah
i din mean that it would be like taht everytime
i love stage arts
but its not intense yet
yeap thats my apology
well now is time to blog again
and i bet
none of u will understand
so yeah
here it goes

wirlrs
wudgeuw
widwe, ijwsttgmw
ne
jst
atwti wnusuaksop
nd
ilsfsatpot
wfpaatctihthtpf
aharitm
nal
tani
btajptmawahmitls
wumbwwit
dwudhttafo
uwuauwhtcat
uksujflc
bttjdwtfo
isiafludwtbeucukiudewgh
isnsrntlhmu
hmt
hmcadelmg

like i said
i dun need a guy now
all guys suck
they suck to the core
damn rare to find one who can understand and
appreciate u for who you are
u guys SUCK!

but actually you dunno how she wills for
a hero to just rescue her at this point of time
to hug her and hold her
understand her
how much she longs for him
how much she wants to have a reason
a reason for her to smile each morning
the reason she carries on with life
im waiting
im reallly waiting
for u to come by and stop for me
and bring me along tru the storm
and the rainbows that u see
whoever you are
wherever you are at
i love you

its been a few days since ive blogged
well lifes getting a lil frustrating

number 1
some people say i do things that i don't do
there is a possibilty of one person knowing
and spreading it to the rest
then one of the rest go and tell the person
thanx arh who ever that person is
i bet its a guy
whose name is....
i dun wannna mention

number 2
having some problems with cca
some head saying that we arent sacrificing aything
well
tell u what
i have SACRIFICED
U JUST DUN SEE IT
do u see my grades
well its dipping
mostly because of stage arts
if u say im not serious abt stuff
den how abt my lunchtime performance
i put so much into it
i feel belong there
but this production
nah
i dun feel the tension
i dun feel the pressure
i have to admit
im partly at fault
but
dun u think u play a role at this fault too
u
shud
have
pressured
us
from
the
START
u wanna know the diff betwenn u and mcg??
well the diff is
they giev EVERYONE A ROLE FROM THE START
THEY START EARLY
INVOLVE EVERYONE IN EVERY TRAINING
even the small role feels attached feel that they have something
but u
just treat us like.....i shall not continue

number 3
projects piling up
stress
exam ard the corner
and its really time to mug
but have i started???
NO
because why???
because of all the shit that i have to handle

number 4
group mates
sumtimes
pressurerize me
well
its good but
im sorry
i have no time
like serious shit no time
and i need to sleep
i cannot survive without sleep

number 5
mum and dad
i really hope u understand what stress im into
i really hope u do

number 6
i am seriously gonna drop one cca
if the people there screw it up
i will go MIA

numebr 7
u wish there was more story din u??
HAHAHAHAHAHA
U GOT PUNKED THERE IS NO NUMBER 7

okae lah
enuf of ranting
i gtg
very very very busy
bye
chaos peeplings

yeah back to blogging.
sorie din blog for daes coz i went for camp and yesterday i was too tired to blog..
so here i am blogging today..

okae
fridae( 4 july )

went to skol with huge bag full of clothes and sleeping bag and a shoe bag..
very very VERY heavy
i was really excited for the camp
but at the same time
i felt like going home
i felt like crying
i just din know why
i reached skol
they were watching a movie or a dvd i shud sae
i cudnt pay attention
all i cud do was put my head on the table
den i realise
tears flowed
flowed down and leila saw
den i showed her sum1s blog
den she told me
DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS NISAH
but
its a fact rite?
aiyah nemai
den after skol
went to edit my slides for presentation
de went for my presentation
and den went to meet baatches(:
we went to buy bottles
went to south canteen buy wedges
and went to the secret garden with the huge rolling ball
hanaffi was really rolling it the other way.
we had fun lah
den went for camp
we were all in different grps but i was lucky to have farah queenbee with me(:
our grp was called
PMS
our facilitators were fatlul and unice and avina
they were nice people
had a great time on that dae
we won with the title off best grp flag
just because if the sanitary pads on it
OPPS
wat did i just sae
and our cheer goes like this
8 little pirates went out to play
out in the ocean far away
watch ur lives coz we will kill
all ur mney for us to steal
PMS
PMS all the way
PMS
PMS SAE HORRAY
hip.hiphiphip hip hiphiphip hip hiphiphip hip HORAY!

day 2(5 july)
woke up at 5
had pt at 630
run two rounds ard the stadium
well i wanted more xP
den we watched sunrise while waiting for the committee to complete all the stuff
den we had wet games
i basically stole bombs and bomb them with their own bombs NYEHEHEHEHEHEHE
very fun..
den we had time to bath but i was too lazy then i slack
slack and ate breakfast
ya den...
had lunch and
START OF CRASHCOURSE
my gro went for make up first
den TMT(theatre management team)
den drama
WENT FOR OUR dinner
den went for
DANCE!!!!
had fun
den they ask us to change to pyjamas
well i din have a pyjamas so i wore what i wore
hahaha
okae
den
ya they told scary stories
den finally they said
the thing was actually behind and next to me
i was like fuck arh
i was like feeling goosebumps and u told me that..
haiya
i was already tired arh
den we had nite hunt from 12 till 3 am in the morning
like shit sia
den i went to bath and i had to pray before sleep by then it was
3.35 AM IN THE MORNING
den i sleep lah den woke up at 7
report at 8

thrid day(6 july)
nothing much
just breakfast ans performances and clearing up
slack with baatches
actually wanted to go eat but we were all too tired
so went home
ya so home sweet home
thats it(:

overall had fun with all the fun people in stage arts
i love u guys
especially my darling baatches
update with u guys soon
chaos

u just don't understand do you?
if it was that easy
i would have

now i find there are more strangers around me.
i just don't know why
i seem to have met some people last time but
i just see their faces
i cant recall who they are
its really sad how life is now... real sad

i wished someone could just come by to save me..
or just shoot me down..
shoot me down to sleep
im just too tired...
and im no longer gonna be that crazy girl u once knew..
im just gonna be the quiet one..
the one who dosent talks.
ask me something ill answer you with one word
dats me
dont ask me why
its just me
sensitive quiet me
maybe i might be abandoning this blog..
i don't need it anymore..
because i won't bother about anything already.
the quiter i am the less problems i face.
gdbye people

well life sucks din i tell u???
wake up nisah from ur fucking dream
wake up

LIFE JUST SUCKS OKAY

urm yeah back to blogging
why seh ppl sae toda ei have the tired face..
maybe i am tired
haiz

nemai
ill just continue on
as i sit down here listening to their presentations.
i feel relieved as i had already presented just now..
well
everythings fine.
just that i find that i have some things missing
but i always act as if nothing was

mum dosent understand
why i come home late..
mum just wants me to come home early
but hs dosent know
she dosent know im juggling three ccas with studies and home
being a good daughter is very hard for me
but its just that
i cant do aniting abt it
because i am ME

well i lay my love on you
is all i wanna do
everytime i breathe i feel brand new

aniwae
the more im hurt
the more i tend to love
i hate this
this wasnt what i wanted
absence makes the heart grow fonder i guess
like finally
i believe its true.
nemai lah
absence absence lor
like who cares.

aniwae
take care
going for soundcard later
i duno wat song to sing
haiz
nemai
just sing what comes to my mind
iloveyou

aku penat
sudah terlalu penat
aku rasa seperti ingin tidur
tidur buat selama-lamanya
ya allah berikan
berikanlah aku kekuatan
KEKUATAN
untuk menghadapi semua ini

aku yang tidak diingati
oleh org
OLEH ORG
yang pernah
kusayangi
kucintai

kau tahu siapa2 dirimu
engkau yg tidak menghirau diriku
bukan satu
bukan dua
tetapi sudah terlalu banyak
terlalu banyak masa yg ku tidak dihiraukan
adakah aku rakan mu?
adakah aku ghaib?

aku bukan berkata2 disini untukmu sahaja
tetapi untuk semua
semua yg menghiraukan
aku tahu
AKU TAHU
dimana aku berdiri

aku sedih
aku kecewa
sedih dan kecewa
melihat kelakuanmu
bila akan aku bertemu denganmu?
bilakah saat yang kita akan berbual?
adakah akan wujud saat itu?
atau ia hanya satu mimpi
mimpi yang tidak kesampaian

aku sedar..
aku telah kehilangan
kehilangan seorang kawan
kehilang terlalu byk kawan
kehilangan tempat mengadu
kehilangan tempat dihati atau fikiranmu
siapalah aku?
mungkin aku tiada hak untuk memikir karenamu

sudah
cukup
cukup menyeksa jiwa and minda ku
aku letih
aku penat

hilangkanlah dirimu dari pandangan ku..
mungkin bila kau menghilang
munkin aku akan rindu
tetapi aku akan lebih tenang

tetapi walaupun apapun yang telah kau lakukan
aku ingin mengucapkan
terima kasih
terima kasih atas segala apa yang telah engkau lakukan
engkau yg dulu yg telah membantuku..
terima kasih
atas semuanya
terima kasih

aku berasa bersyukur
aku ingin meminta izinmu
meminta izinmu untuk meyimpan cintamu dihatiku
aku gembira jika engkau gembira
sedih jika engkau sedih
tetapi aku telah letih sebelum engkau letih

disini ku akhiri pada hari ini
disini aku akhiri ini untuk selamanya
terima kasih
dan
selamat tinggal
kawan
P.S iloveyou