i am so dead.
thinking that jalan raye with loves was on wednesday.
i so did not think of song to sing
now that they changed it to thursday
i am so dead.

anyway.
today my appetite was tame. very tame.
which is a good thing.
i hope it goes that way everyday.

thank god i have a blog.
if not i might not even utter a word at home.
okay exaggerated but yeah.
like. i am so scared i say something wrong.

btw

i think i have come to a point.
a point where rai was at.
a point whereby. u dun care abt relationships.
all u care is friends and keeping them safe wherever they are.
thank god. i feel this way.
i feel so much better than i did last year.
and i feel alot alot alot better with stage arters around(:

i miss them already. so dinner again guys?
nites peeps(:

ever heard of those girls who actually cry
are much stronger
than those who hide their emotions to themselves?

have u heard that those people who laugh out loud, who has a strong personality
are actually
very sad and lonely people within?
they have so much to hide. that they use laughter to cover up.

in a crowd, they smile, laugh, joke like there is nothing to worr about.
but when its time to get home.
they feel lonely, sad.
i know of such people.
i do.

maybe. just maybe i belong to this categories mentioned above.
i know i'm being random.
but i seem to be in my own world when i'm alone.
alone. in my world.

i love thinking.
thinking about nothing.
i love long bus rides.
seeing the colours that are on the outside.
i ponder. abt stuff that i dun even remember when i get off the bus.

maybe.
im wierd.
someone tell me im normal and ill be just fine.
please?

to all muslims happy hari raya okay(:
now that fasting month is over
dun eat too much k
later bloated den got babatz like me ):


this raya is filled with tears of sadnesss and joy.
but i am thankful that i've lived to feel another happy syawal.
i am official out of dance.
sad. yes. regret. yes. but what i did was for the best.
relieved. yes. happy definitely.
because now i dun have to choose.


btw. i have new heels baby!
and i realise i have one nike shoe that i have yet to even wore once.
and and i miss production. ):

okay ill end it here okay.
i am happy.

you dunno how happy i feel. (:

shocked.
someone whom i look up to. someone who had been nice to me for his lifetime. left.
even till this very moment i am still holding back my tears.
it was so shocking yet we all knew that it was his time to go. in peace.
i am sad. but i know life has to go on.
i tried putting myself in auntie's shoes. to have someone living with her through ups and downs for the past 40-50 years. suddenly gone.
i couldn't imagine what pain i'd go through.
can i not fall in love and don't get married?
oh wells. let's see what happens in the future(:

production is less than a week away. its so near.
i am soo scared. it will be the last time i'd be acting.
on that big stage.
after production i know i'll miss it forever.
zzz. i wish i can forever be a year 2 poly student.

and my birthday is coming soon!
in a month.
i'll be legal(:
okay lah
i am going to go watch my miss no good.
HU-HU!
nites peeplings(;