Gerry Kennedy: Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you

i want a man like that. maybe not someone who will die soon after we got married but someone who appreciates me for who i am.

urgh i should just shut up.

because i know illusions never change into something real.

dreams never come true.

ouh. HAPPY NEW YEAR(:

welcome 2010!

I can't wait for 2010.

I just want to get over and done with 2009.

It will be a new year. full of new resolutions.

so watch out for my resolutions later on k(:

Happy is a simple word.

a simple expression with a simple meaning.

but today. in my dictionary

the whole meaning has changed.

ah heck. why should i care about myself anyway.

This year i've learnt the meaning to emotions.

happy.

sad.

love

trust

weak

strong

most importantly.

i learn the meaning of love and friendship

okay maybe i shall stop bullshiting and put up my resolutions okay(:

Resolution 10'

1. lose weight

2. be happy

3. stay happy if i could be happy

4. imagine every guy is a girl

5. make my friends happy

6. play sports

7. go to lesbian clubs(without my parents knowing)

8. study

9. know myself

10. make my parents proud(:

short and sweet huh.

sorry i am sexist.

no offence huh.

okay. singapore idol 09 is going to be revealed soon.

and me being sexist u know who i want to win.

so drumrolls peeps!

******

*****

****

***

**

*

and its

Sezairi Sezali

well congrats.

Sylvia Ratonel

you are still my idol.

i love you okay(:

okay i shall do my work now.

Thank you to those who made me smile during 2009.

If u have yet to make me smile,

there is still time man(:

so i want to make use of the rest of 09 to make u guys smile.

take care peeps.

and smile always.

You value your friendships: 80%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

Nosy Level: 60%

You may seem to be a nosy person to some people, but actually you are quite a serious person who's not at all interested in gossip. You just like to know what's going on around you. It's a natural interest and you can get offended when people tell you they think you're a sticky-beak.

Jealousy Level: 40%

You harbor hidden feelings of jealousy

You easily get jealous of other people, but you manage to control your expressions and emotions. For instance, when a close friend tells you that she has met the man of her dreams, you might sincerely say to her "Congratulations!", but what you're really thinking is "You're so lucky! Why can't I be you?"

the type of woman.

He's the typical guy that you normally would see in today's society, nothing too spectacular. In fact, you really have to concentrate in picking him out among the crowd. He's also easy going, has a sophisticated taste. He isn't boring or anything like that. Just that he would tend to be a little humble, has his own independent views, but keeps it to himself. If the situation requires, he can step forward and really make an impression on others.

The woman of his dream must not be the helpless lady type or too conservative, but must be a fighter with high perseverance. Women who are the fragile type or too ladylike are definitely not to his taste. She must be committed to overcome any obstacle in building up a family with him. Those from a rich family is definitely out. He prefers women whose fortune are self-made. This type of guy isn't selfish at all, but a real social contributor one can say. Don't worry, his requirements aren't really that high, you may pass the test you know.

your hidden talent

The Artist

You love freedom and want to follow your heart's desires. You might not be at your best when dealing with other people. Once you are given the opportunity to work your chosen way, your gift will shine. A tip for you is not to concentrate too much on your own work, but widen your focus and consider the opinions of other people.

that dream guy

He is wild and adventurous. His path is often against the world. He does what he wants when he feels like. His type of girl is quite like him, independent and wise. If you love freedom and willing to risk, go for this guy.

my reaction

You recover quickly from disappointment. But when you feel that things are going wrong, you will react immediately.

What if your boyfriend goes out with another girl?

You are like most others who take the middle track. Although you won't get over-worried, you are not too optimistic either. You overcome bad times after a while and patience will bring you happiness.

survival

Because of your kind nature, you always find it hard to turn down people in need. You always want to do so many things at once but eventually you might not achieve anything. Try to focus on one thing at a time and you will surely be successful.

the house

You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are a freedom lover and a strong person.

You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. You often come up with solutions to problems. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You always have plans on your mind. This might cause a lot of stress if things don't go the way you expect. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

okay maybe i should stop now.

i am just so bored.

i don't know what to do actually.

btw. something random,

i actually miss having to see a msg on my phone every morning.

today, i received none.

kinda sad. but yeah. (:

this post has nothing to do with anyone. its just me, myself and i. thanx(:

there is something i wanna do real bad

but i will have to wait for next year

in the mean time let me just countdown

365 days

and i am really excited for that moment

merry christmas everyone(:

well i guess december is coming to an end very soon

this was or is still a month full of downs instead of ups.

sometimes i wish i could change the way i handle things

i am sorry my temper is always the one that blow things up.

i love you.

i love you.

and i still do love you.

i was just too touch about how u were so kind and caring towards me

that i became so disappointed in myself.

yes i know im silly

i am a stupid bitch.

i think i must go for anger management classes

and i am sorry.

so updates for december. not in order okay

it was the last drama session and it was a surprise for nic's birthday. so cute right(:

and then came Events Night 09.

Events Night 09. Something unexpected happen and i was given a post. yes. With power comes responsibility and i shall do my best. Thank you for the opportunity.

Then came the lepak session on the next day. NYEHE.

And we went down to IKEA after our first drama session conducted by the two drama heads Sarah Jane and Hazwan. fun trip to buy stuff for clubroom hehe.

yeap. december oh december.

lets welcome 2010.

watch out for my resolutions(:

and i everything's gonna be alright. i know.

do u believe that there is noone born bad in this world?

well i do.

i believe that miscommunication is the reason why they are that way.

its just so sad if we

dun even give them chances to change.

dun limit the number of chances.

be patient and give all that you can give.

allow people to change.

by not giving them chances, we will be the ones to blame if something bad happens.

so come on. share the love peeplings.

im addicted to this song. someone please sing this song(:

crawl-chris brown

[Verse 1]
Everybody see's it's you
I'm the one that lost the view
Everybody says we're through
I hope you haven't said it too

So where
Do we go from here
With all this fear in our eyes
And where
Can love take us now
We've been so far down
We can still touch the sky

[Chorus]
If we crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, Yeah

[Verse 2]
Why did I change the pace
Hearts were never meant to race
I always felt the need for space
But now I can't reach your face
So where
Are you standing now
Are you in the crowd of my faults
Love, can you see my hand?
I need one more chance
We can still have it all

[Chorus]
If we crawl(if we crawl)
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run (then we'll run)
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
http://www.elyricsworld.com/crawl_lyrics_chris_brown.html
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, yeaaah

[Bridge]
Everybody see's it's you
Well I never wanna lose that view

[Chorus]
So we'll crawl (if we crawl)
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl

So we'll crawl (ooh)
Till we can walk again (till we can walk again)
Then we'll run (we'll run)
Until we're strong enough to jump (until we're strong enough to jump)
Then we'll fly (then we'll fly)
Until there is no end
So let's crawl, let's crawl, lets crawl
Back to love
Back to love yeah
Back to love

it means something to me. does it mean anything to u?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURHIDAYAH(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANIF(:

this two names mention above. belongs to a couple(:

amazingly their birthday is just two days apart.

so cool right. can i have my boyfriend have the same birth day as i do?

anyway hope u enjoy ur birthdays okay.

not forgetting happy belated birthday hadi!

so yeah. life's been busy.

with so many things coming.

i dun even have time to stop and blink. LOL

okay exaggerated i know.

but hey. i am trying my best to enjoy this busy life.

oh yes. selamat hari raye haji(:

i hope atuk's alright at home.

i know he misses arwah nenek.

we will see u later k atuk.

i love u alot alot alot(:

okay. nites peeplings and earthlings(:

sunday is a big day. huge changes will be made.

Mohd Hafiz Bin Hasim will be married man.

He will leave the house to live with his wife.

i will be the only child left living under my parents.

i will have one more room to sleep in if i am scared.

i will not have someone to quarrel with anymore.

i will not have someone picking on me all the time.

amazingly i feel sad and i dun feel excited.

now that he is leaving the house. i am going to be all alone ):

abang can u dun leave?

no matter how annoying u are

i still love u.

hope ur marriage will last forever.

come back often to sleep over.

AND AND PRODUCE CUTE CUTE CHILDREN SO I CAN PLAY WITH THEM *grinsssxsz*

i pray for ur happiness okay(:

loves adek.

i apologise if i have offended anyone in anyway.

its just this days ive been busy.

tired.

and emotionally unstable.

so please dun be offended if i scold u or something.

i will just get annoyed with small little things.

im excited. are u? (:

its been a week now.

what else can i say?

i miss soundcard. alot alot.

i have not been attending it due to some reasons.

i hate whats happening in school.

i swear.

its just. eff-ed up.

i just wanna bring an rpg to school.

IM KIDDING

btw.

lepaks sessions are fun. everytime you have one.

secrets will be out.

how fun is that?

its no fun if u are the one full of secrets!

bishan, woodlands and toa payoh!

with you guys around, what more can i ask for.

i wish we can stay like this forever.

cold. blue.

white cloth all over you.

kissing you on the forehead for the last time was the hardest thing to do.

i really wish it wasnt the last time.

at that moment, i wish i had the power to make someone alive again.

i wish you would just wake up and tell me it was all a joke.

yes, i am still the silly little girl whom you always kissed so hard and hug till she couldnt breathe.

yes i still wish that people could come back and never die.

but everyone has to.

she knows.

i know.

saying goodbye to you. was never easy.

whats worst was the smile on your face.

makes it harder for me to say it.

i always dreamt of coming by to surprise you after coming home from work.

i guess that will never happen now.

i am still not okay.

i feel like letting it all out.

but i dun have the rights.

ill just keep it in.

be as normal as i can.

i should start packing up.

2 deaths in a row.

how worst can it get?

its too sudden. its too shocking.

yes, i am devastated.

Mdm fatimah aka burok.

i have always wondered why they called you that.

because i saw photos of u when u were young.

u were hot. just like granddad.

but now you're gone.

leaving granddad alone in the house.

with noone to scold him about drinking sweet drinks and hiding them away.

with noone to quarrel with about the what tv channel to watch.

with noone to shout at when you spend too long in the toilet.

gone. so suddenly.

but i am glad.

i thank Allah that i got to spend some time with u.

i thank Allah that u are gone before granddad because we all know he is independent

and u are very dependent on him.

i thank Allah for blessing me with a family.

i know everyone has to go when their time is up.

i am devastated but i accept the fact. that she has to go.

i feel like crying my heart out. but im keeping it all inside.

all i need now is just to relax and calm down and hugs from all my loved ones.

i know i can do nothing now.

all that matters now are my prayers for her.

thats the only thing that can help her.

i love you nenek.

and

nenek , i'll miss you. forever.

okay i know. i did not update for like ages i apologize. hehe

anyway i have been having meetings with some people like almost everyday.

i love it. because its fun. and not stressful.

we get things done in a fun way. cool rite.

okay okay anyway

i tell u all a secret okay.

i hanisah hasim was being influenced by my group of friends.

TO SHEESHA(:

damn cool i swear.

i know its more harmful than smoking but at least its not addictive.

its not as if i sheesha every week or everyday.

its like rare lahh.

i am still a nice girl okay(:

*pukes*

but yeah. but the thing that is NOT FAIR.

is that

I DID NOT GET HIGH EVEN THOUGH I TOOK PUFFS THAT WERE WAY BIGGER OR DEEPER THAN NADHIRAH'S OR JULYHA'S YET I HANISAH HASIM DID NOT GET HIGGHHHHHH! THEY DID.

WHICH IS SOOO NOT FAIR TO THE MEGA MAXSZXXSZXZXZSXZSXZ!

hmph. nevermind. maybe i am just born hyper. ):

photos are yet to be uploaded as my camera is not with me. maybe next week.

okay. i have to get started on marcom tutorial.

nites peeplings(:

school. i love it because of the people.
okay. i am so gonna enjoy entrepreneurship because of miss karen chia. she is very sunny(:

oh yes. did i tell u i have problems reaching on time for classes
because it starts at like 8AM.
i am so gonna get kicked out of the course because of my attendance if i never try to wake up way earlier.
STOP SNOOZING UR PHONE NISAH!

german german. im excited(:
okay i shall go and sleep now(:

because some people they duno hwo to appreciate things until their gone. when will u ever wake up and stop hurting her?

because its dead. thats why.
it feels way worst than being heartbroken.
at least if its broken u can mend it.

i am happy with what i have. living my life to the fullest.
turning everything down to something that could make me stand up again.
and now i am so used to setbacks. that i use them to move further.
further then before.
because i dun wan to be held back by something so dumb.
lets all count them as eyecandy's and everything will be just fine(:

but.
ive not been able to hold my temper well.
i keep flaring up so easily.
but as easy as that. when i meet the people i love.
i will just laugh it off
and everything will go away.

its just that im scared of being alone.
when im alone.
i start to cry. about nothing at all.
i duno whats wrong
i shall go and find out soon.

anywa
IM TRULY EXCITED FOR SATURDAY!!
RAYE OUTING WITH STAGE ARTSSSSSXSXSZXZSXZXSZ!
OKAY OKAY i shall contain my excitement.
save it for saturday.
OKAY NITES PEOPLESXSZXSZXZ!

okay. no more straight hair.
no more long hair.
and dun laugh at me.
this is how i look now. (:

raya outing with sc was fun(:
photos at facebook.

there is always a reason
reason for someone to not remember something from the past
maybe they do remember
but its just deep inside.
the memory was just too painful for them to keep rewinding in their heads
okay dun mind me
i am just feeling abit pissed.

ever did something good and got scolding for it
well i get it all the time
but sometimes its just too much that i cant handle it
ego. ego. ego.
i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.
and when i say things three times i mean it
do what u want. i am so not gonna care about you.

closed. thats for sure.
no more. everythings a lie.
i dun wanna share.
only with those loved ones
the only one i can trust.
im sick and tired of it.
lies suck.

nope u dun have to understand this post.
only i need to. because i only truly trust me and my twin.
nites

how do u knock someone to say hey! ur soulmates green with envy. buzz off!
i truly have no idea.

6 oct 0001-2359
i enjoyed it all. from the start till the end. thank u for the wishes
thank u for the cake.
thank u for the thought.
thank u(:

chalet for me was from 6 oct till 8 oct
it was really fun. really nice to spend days with them.
from talking nonsensical to serious stuff.
the bbq sessions.
the mahjong games
the heart attack games.
the movie trip
i enjoyed it. i did(:

i am just someone you wouldnt notice.

You lie inside your head. Your thoughts confuse you, and you would rather be anyone else than yourself.

You convince yourself of things that aren't true. You might think you are ugly, stupid, mean, or annoying, when you are actually none of those things.

You constantly put yourself down and convince yourself that you don't deserve anything good. You don't hear compliments and when people give you one, you deny it.

You give others the compliments you wish you could give yourself, but when you think of who you are, only the negative comes to mind.

It is possible you are paranoid about what others are saying about you behind your back, or are trying to match yourself to an impossible standard.

There might have been someone in your life who put you down so much you actually started to believe it. Trust me, if you think you are a bad person, you most likely aren't.

Bad people think they are good, otherwise they wouldn't be as mean.You lie because you mistake it for the truth.

When others tell you positive things about yourself, you often just believe they are lying to make you feel better. In actuality, they are telling the truth and you are lying to yourself.

Your weakness are the people who don't openly compliment you, but truly believe you are amazing anyway.

Their compliments are along the lines of "You make me feel happy" or "You are my everything." A lot of people find these cheesy, but these are the compliments that allow you to feel good about yourself for who you are.

When people tell you good things about themselves and tell you it's all because of you, the dark lies you tell yourself seem to float away.

this is how i lie.

i learned something new something about myself. how about u?

okay. this week.
was a beee-zee week for me.

first was jalan raye with cvss peeps.
followed by jalan raye with jebons
not forgetting everyday jalan raye at nite with family.
later i need to wake up early in the morning to wear my baju kurung for madrasah.
then go out for jalan raya again
sunday i will have to go to johor for jalan raya again.

MY LEGS ARE DYINGGGGGGG!
SOMEONE SAVE ME!!

on second thoughts.
i look forward to next week(:
*winks* you know why

i shall turn in now.
nites peeps.
OUH OUH
PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK(:

i am so dead.
thinking that jalan raye with loves was on wednesday.
i so did not think of song to sing
now that they changed it to thursday
i am so dead.

anyway.
today my appetite was tame. very tame.
which is a good thing.
i hope it goes that way everyday.

thank god i have a blog.
if not i might not even utter a word at home.
okay exaggerated but yeah.
like. i am so scared i say something wrong.

btw

i think i have come to a point.
a point where rai was at.
a point whereby. u dun care abt relationships.
all u care is friends and keeping them safe wherever they are.
thank god. i feel this way.
i feel so much better than i did last year.
and i feel alot alot alot better with stage arters around(:

i miss them already. so dinner again guys?
nites peeps(:

ever heard of those girls who actually cry
are much stronger
than those who hide their emotions to themselves?

have u heard that those people who laugh out loud, who has a strong personality
are actually
very sad and lonely people within?
they have so much to hide. that they use laughter to cover up.

in a crowd, they smile, laugh, joke like there is nothing to worr about.
but when its time to get home.
they feel lonely, sad.
i know of such people.
i do.

maybe. just maybe i belong to this categories mentioned above.
i know i'm being random.
but i seem to be in my own world when i'm alone.
alone. in my world.

i love thinking.
thinking about nothing.
i love long bus rides.
seeing the colours that are on the outside.
i ponder. abt stuff that i dun even remember when i get off the bus.

maybe.
im wierd.
someone tell me im normal and ill be just fine.
please?

to all muslims happy hari raya okay(:
now that fasting month is over
dun eat too much k
later bloated den got babatz like me ):


this raya is filled with tears of sadnesss and joy.
but i am thankful that i've lived to feel another happy syawal.
i am official out of dance.
sad. yes. regret. yes. but what i did was for the best.
relieved. yes. happy definitely.
because now i dun have to choose.


btw. i have new heels baby!
and i realise i have one nike shoe that i have yet to even wore once.
and and i miss production. ):

okay ill end it here okay.
i am happy.

you dunno how happy i feel. (:

shocked.
someone whom i look up to. someone who had been nice to me for his lifetime. left.
even till this very moment i am still holding back my tears.
it was so shocking yet we all knew that it was his time to go. in peace.
i am sad. but i know life has to go on.
i tried putting myself in auntie's shoes. to have someone living with her through ups and downs for the past 40-50 years. suddenly gone.
i couldn't imagine what pain i'd go through.
can i not fall in love and don't get married?
oh wells. let's see what happens in the future(:

production is less than a week away. its so near.
i am soo scared. it will be the last time i'd be acting.
on that big stage.
after production i know i'll miss it forever.
zzz. i wish i can forever be a year 2 poly student.

and my birthday is coming soon!
in a month.
i'll be legal(:
okay lah
i am going to go watch my miss no good.
HU-HU!
nites peeplings(;

12 more practices. and thats all we have to go on stage and perform.
tonight. right now.
i feel the heat. 12 sept is gonna come fast.
and we are far from perfecting what we have.
yes nadhirah. i am worried.
we will perfect it the next practice(:

oh yes. finally i have found the perfect shampoo and conditioner for my hair(:
now i have to start dealing with my face which is filled with blemishes, huge pores, black heads and all of those which is soooo dirtyyy.
i have to start taking care of myself.
i should start jogging to lose weight for the sake of being healthy.
i should eat lesser junk food.

my aim
is to lose weight before the end of 2009. does not matter how much. as long as i shed pounds.
because i believe a healthy lifestyle leads to a healthy body and mind.
I SAY!
hahaha.

okay okay enough rubbish.
nites peeps(:

i never misunderstood u. Dreams and Happiness.

i wish i could be like you.
even after so long, u went through so much as a child, a teen and a young adult.
its amazing how you can put aside everything and just continue smiling in front of us.
yet, i know u are soft. you have this soft spot. i heard of it but i've yet to see it with my very own eyes.
maybe its because i am not close to u.
but i know. you will pull through.
u will have a bright future.
jia you to u!

*please don't bother figuring out who because whom u think it is isnt who i am talking about*

Dream.
I cannot afford to dream.
Because i know when one starts dreaming, one gets greedy and keeps on dreaming for more.
and when one dosen't achieve what one dreamt of, that's when disappointment comes in.
when one is disappointed, everything will seem as if its crushing down. on themselves.
so when one dosen't dream, there will be no room for disappointment.

Happiness.
i hope happiness is not like a ferris wheel.
whereby one second u are at the peak of happiness
and when it goes to the bottom of the wheel,that's when it ends.

call me silly for writing this two paragraphs above.
dun ask me why.
i just felt like writing those things.
anyway. i am still craving for mee rebus.
hahahaha.

okay i'll turn in now. nites peeplings(:

oh my goodness.
i don't know how i could have left my blog empty!

anyway. selamat berpuasa to all muslims(:
jgn puase yok2 ehk! hahaha.

finally this semester drama ended. *phew*
thank god and i am very very happy that...

exams were officially over on thursday for me this semester.
all i can say is i am really nervous about the results.
but yeah. at least i did my best right(;

oh yes. i feel so much better now. much calmer.
after exams. i could finally take a break and relax for a while before resuming into real production rehearsals(:
a breather was all i need to start fresh(:

and now i am back to watching taiwanese/korean/japanese drama's!
i have yet to even complete my season 2 gossip girls.
but i am so hooked up with the drama's.
it reminds me of the reasons why i should continue smiling everyday without fail.
even if something bad happen.(:

okay lah i want to start on a new drama(:
and nick. dun worry the steps are still in my head okay(:
okay nites peeplings(;

p/s: i am sooooo craving for the mee rebus at amk S-11.

happy belated birthday to 4 august twins(:

happy belated birthday to sheila and clare on 7th august(:

finally happy belated birthday to singapore on 9th august(:

yes. i can go kill myself as i have yet to even start studying.
i can't seem to motivate myself.
so, i need hid's hug just to get me started.

i miss her so much can?
all i want right now is to put my mind aside and study.
oh god, why must u always test me during the exam period?
i will go through this.
i will survive this.
i will study.
i will score.(:

i shall turn in and wake up early to study(:
nights peeplings!

time for a lil update.

i miss my life. i miss my friends. i miss everything i had.
if only anyone could understand what i am feeling right now.
oh wells, maybe i should just continue smiling.

20 cent game.
i never want to play that game.
i dun wan to go back there.
i dun want to show who i really am.
please. promise me that i will never be asked to play that game again.

right now. exams are coming up real soon.
i have to push everything aside and clear my mind.
i have to settle some things.
i should do it soon.
or maybe
i shouldnt do it at all.
ah heck! i see how things go.

so yeap. just now was first ever outside performance for dance.

and i now realised how can someone be soooo two-face.
i swear. i am pissed and to you,
you are no longer known to be in my friend list.

i am off to do my articles nights peeps.

only those people will know.

i will fall sick only if:

1)something happen.

2)there is exams

3)got performancessxsz

4)i'm stress due to not knowing chereo for MB'S

5)i needed sleep

i think i feel sick because of all of the reasons above. LOL

okay okay 1st ever dance performance was DOPE!

maybe there was a reason why i decided to continue only this year.
okay lah let the picture's do the talking okay(:

russell's nerd specs looks super nerd on me. LOLmake-up makes wonders i tell u.

the one who audition with me and got through together. fifi(:

clara choo. she damn pretty okay. i tell u

my seniors. the damn cool lah. except for sharlene maybe. HAHAHAH kidding kidding.lova ya(:

this picture damn dope arh fifi look damn cool. i look like shits -.-

yeah the "audition + boom boom shake shake chereo people!"

lastly stage arts dance. (:

with our dance chereographer terrence!

okay it was a blast so here i am blasting off
nites peeplings(:

promises are meant to be broken.

months back. i lost u. it felt like i lost a limb. unable to do things as i usually did but i carried on with life normally acting as if nothing happen.

if i got u back just to lose u again. id rather not have u back. i don't know. i feel as though i've lost u again and i am tired of the fact that im always the one who goes through shit and tries to make things better. i am sorry. i feel as if people come to me only when they need help. when they are fine in life they carry on happily like nobody's business leaving me aside all alone to clear up the fucking mess.

everytime i feel so sad so upset. i tell myself that i am going to be mean. i try. but i can't its just not me. with all the other people around me who always make things better for me. i can't be mean just because a minority tries to bring me down over and over again. its just not fair.

so fuckers just leave me alone okay. if u want to mess around with people's life mess up others but not me.

because my life is just fine with them around. the ones i love and love me for who i am and not for who/what i can be to them.

okay i am done with rantings.

my heart

di sini kau dan aku

terbiasa bersama

menjalani kasih sayang

bahagia kudenganmu

pernahkah kau menguntai

hari paling indah

ku ukir nama kita berdua

di sini syurga kita

bila kita mencintai yang lain

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar

sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah

sayang ku akan hilang

if u love somebody could we be this strong

i will fight to win our love will conquer all

wouldn’t risk my love even just one night

our love will stay in my heart

my heart

pernahkah kau menguntai

hari paling indah

ku ukir nama kita berdua

disini surga kita

bila kita mencintai yang lain

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar

sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah

sayang ku akan hilang

bila kita mencintai yang lain

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar

sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah

sayang ku akan hilang

if we love somebody could we be this strong

i will fight to win our love will conquer all

wouldn't risk my love even just one night

our love will stay in my heart....

my heart.

oooh

ooooooooooooh

my heart.

oh god i miss singing this song. i miss performing this song. how i wish i had just one last time to perform it. grandly again.

okay off to do soo's insight paper. nites peeplings(: