i stump
i went speechless
sitting down with the phone on my hand
i was still thinking
if
that was true
tears dripped down
i just couldnt believe it
its just too sudden
i really can't imagine what you felt at that point of time
for you to breakdown
it must really have been so heartbreaking
so shocking
coz
i knew you were a strong girl

my dearest merishah
even when i came
you were still strong
though i know youve shed tonnes b4 all of us arrived
i just couldnt help it but to give you a hug
i felt for you
i really did
but knowing you
this has just made you stronger

and you dun ever have to thank us
coz
thats what frenz are for
we will always be there for u when u need us
though we might be late
just believe in us alright(:
we love you girl
we always will

loves. hanisah(:

i really don't know how
i really don't know why
but
i can be on both sides

strong
yet
soft

mean
but
acting sweet

i can go tru this on my own
yet
i feel i need someone at times

im in total mess right now

i don"t know which one i shud feel

maybe
im just confused

if any guy asked me if i wud want a bf
i wud say no

if any girl ask me if i wud want a bf
i wud say yes

ohgod
im so confuse

argh
get it straight
u can life without a man nisah(:
you can do it(:
lifes not just abt them(:
come on nisah!
you can do it!

move forward!
be strong
be who u really are
show youre true self
but
i dunno whats my true self):

i guess thats something for me to figure out

just by taking one step at a time(:
its gonna happen when its suppose to happen girl(:
strive on!
so nites peeplings(:
strive on too yeah(:

wrong time
wrong person

and yes
its obvious

and yes
im irritating

and yes
you could just say it to my face

and yes
you don't have to write at your pm

and yes
it hurts

coz
i tot you were
my reasonable sister

the process of growing and we are till growing tall and strong
the one's who were always by my side during my ups and downs are
those crazy two in the last picture with me
i miss those days when we will all gather at OUR TABLE
in the canteen
waiting for each other before we eat.
life has been a pleasent journey with u guys

those pictures above
were the happy days that i had
not all are up
times with hid are not up
coz maybe ill post about her
soon.. very soon

lifes going fine
with all those whom i need
and those that i dun need away from me
im thankful for what i have
and what i dun have
those were how much ive grown over the fours years in secondary school
i wont put up those after secondary school yet..
all those times in secondary school life will never be forgotten
especially the both of you mariah and fauzianna
thank u for everything then now and forever.

whatever it is
please dun leave me
bestfriends forever aites(:

its been long since i blog
but yeah
lifes been so much better(:
been smiling so much
been laughing so much

results were out
and yes
i passed everything but
everything was either C or C+
and its not a good sign
i want to have Bs
i am gonna improve
trust me i will
(:

gonna have last two drama for stage arts
and i will be no longer in it
it will just go down to the final two
mcg and soundcard
i just have to pick one and stick to it
or
i cud drop both
and take up sports(:
i wanna get dark again
HAHAHAHA

i just hope that life will continue to be this way
its better this way
i dun wanna fall again
coz i cant afford to(:
ill be fine
better of alone
coz
im the best that you have never had(:

sorie for the vulgar language that u are going to witness
i apologise to all readers
but i just have to say it

AND IT STARTS
LIKE FUCK U
HU THE HELL ARE U TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO ASK PEOPLE TO MOVE ON
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU THAT I SHUD LISTEN TO ALL UR FUCKING
COMMANDS???
i dun care already
u can fucking get lost
i dun want my friend back
i dun care who the fuck u were to eb in my life
U ordered me to move on..
BUT HAVE U MOVED ONNNN?????
ARGGHHH
FUCKING JERK
LETS JUST TREAT EACH OTHER AS FUCKING STRANGERS
ILL TREAT U AS AIR
COZ U SAID U LIKE IT
WELLL I FUCKING LIKE TREATING U AS AIR AS WELL
like what the fuck is wrong with u????
what is wrong with u??
ive never been soooooo angry
i swear to god i feel like FUCKING BURSTING RIGHT NOW
BUT BURST INTO ANGERRRRRRR
NOT TEARSSSS
I WONT CARE A FUCK ABT U
LIKE
FUCK
FUCK FUCK
FUCK
OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

lie down
close ur eyes
play a sad song as a background..

now
IMAGINE
imagine u
u were lying in a field
an open field where there was nothing
just green grass
u notice
a tree
a huge tree
abt 400 metres away
u slowly get up
u
approach that tree
u den
see a shadow
with every step u took
the shadow became bigger
and then
u saw someone
ur beloved one
say everything u wanna say
and then it just walked away without turning back
it walked away
END
u slowly open ur eyes and stood up


well that was what we were suppose to imagine
the person whom i imagine
i cant imagine her walking away from me
i cried
i couldnt wake up again
while everyone was already up
i was still there
lying on the grounds of e308
i just couldnt let her walk away from me
never
i was chasing her
but
i knew
i had to get up
it wasnt real
so i opened my eyes
sat up with tears flowing down my cheeks
that was the third time i broke down that day
coz she can never understand how much she means to me
never...
though ull never know
i love u mum
i really do
sighs..ur stupid unfilial daughter[hanisah]