only those people will know.

i will fall sick only if:

1)something happen.

2)there is exams

3)got performancessxsz

4)i'm stress due to not knowing chereo for MB'S

5)i needed sleep

i think i feel sick because of all of the reasons above. LOL

okay okay 1st ever dance performance was DOPE!

maybe there was a reason why i decided to continue only this year.
okay lah let the picture's do the talking okay(:

russell's nerd specs looks super nerd on me. LOLmake-up makes wonders i tell u.

the one who audition with me and got through together. fifi(:

clara choo. she damn pretty okay. i tell u

my seniors. the damn cool lah. except for sharlene maybe. HAHAHAH kidding kidding.lova ya(:

this picture damn dope arh fifi look damn cool. i look like shits -.-

yeah the "audition + boom boom shake shake chereo people!"

lastly stage arts dance. (:

with our dance chereographer terrence!

okay it was a blast so here i am blasting off
nites peeplings(:

promises are meant to be broken.

months back. i lost u. it felt like i lost a limb. unable to do things as i usually did but i carried on with life normally acting as if nothing happen.

if i got u back just to lose u again. id rather not have u back. i don't know. i feel as though i've lost u again and i am tired of the fact that im always the one who goes through shit and tries to make things better. i am sorry. i feel as if people come to me only when they need help. when they are fine in life they carry on happily like nobody's business leaving me aside all alone to clear up the fucking mess.

everytime i feel so sad so upset. i tell myself that i am going to be mean. i try. but i can't its just not me. with all the other people around me who always make things better for me. i can't be mean just because a minority tries to bring me down over and over again. its just not fair.

so fuckers just leave me alone okay. if u want to mess around with people's life mess up others but not me.

because my life is just fine with them around. the ones i love and love me for who i am and not for who/what i can be to them.

okay i am done with rantings.

my heart

di sini kau dan aku

terbiasa bersama

menjalani kasih sayang

bahagia kudenganmu

pernahkah kau menguntai

hari paling indah

ku ukir nama kita berdua

di sini syurga kita

bila kita mencintai yang lain

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar

sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah

sayang ku akan hilang

if u love somebody could we be this strong

i will fight to win our love will conquer all

wouldn’t risk my love even just one night

our love will stay in my heart

my heart

pernahkah kau menguntai

hari paling indah

ku ukir nama kita berdua

disini surga kita

bila kita mencintai yang lain

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar

sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah

sayang ku akan hilang

bila kita mencintai yang lain

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar

sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah

sayang ku akan hilang

if we love somebody could we be this strong

i will fight to win our love will conquer all

wouldn't risk my love even just one night

our love will stay in my heart....

my heart.

oooh

ooooooooooooh

my heart.

oh god i miss singing this song. i miss performing this song. how i wish i had just one last time to perform it. grandly again.

okay off to do soo's insight paper. nites peeplings(:

building a wall isn't what i wanted. it was what I NEEDED.

may i remind u, the bitch is back.

upside down day(:

frankly what cheered me up this week were the webcam-ings with nick and wan. as well as stage arts training. i miss being around them so much that i will go sooooo hyper whenever i see them.

so there was drama training like after don't know how many months without it. fun fun fun. it was a test of how u can bring out ur emotions through a flow. ain't easy but its doable(:

den we headed out to eat at ljs. and headed down to bugis for costume and props hunting! i was just there to k-po round since i had to go for night fest at doubyghout.

after that... i manage to persuade them to come along with me to the night fest and planned to play pool/ bowl after that. buttt. it started raining.. lucky i have enough for my article(: we took a long time battling whether to head down to marina square by cab, bus or walk that the storm stopped -.-

so we walked and took bus. and thanks to ilham we took the wrong bus( i should have just pushed him down when the bus opened!)HAHAHAH! so we had to walk and we decided to just walk to marina square instead.

we reached marina square bowling alley! but it was packed. the pool tables were all used up. so we listed our names under the bowling alley and wanted to be called by 10. it was 930 so we went to eat. ouh we saw suhaimi yusof and sheila started laughing like mad.

we finished eating at 1010 and the person still did not call us so we proceeded to the bowling alley where we saw suhaimi yusof and started laughing again! it was so funny. when we reached the bowling alley we were told that we had to wait till 12 before we can get to play. who would stay u tell me? so we tried the pool side. still no luck. so we decided to just walk out of marina square to esplanade and see if we were lucky enough to witness a fight.

obviously it wasnt our lucky day. maybe it was because the fact that i was there. so we walked all the way to raffles place mrt station. otw i went high. i was high on milo -.- it was funny! by the time we got to raffles place we were all out of energy from all the laughing and shouting.

so basically i spent more than 12 hours with them. and i can never get tired of them. love them to the core. thank u for accompanying me and im sorry if i made ur day upside down.

sometimes having ur world being upside down isn't so bad after all(:
crazy people crazy friends crazy me leads to happy people(:

okay back to gossip girls. bye peeplings(:

expect the expected.

rough week i must say. with this and that going on , everything's just pushing me to the limit. but no worries i am still sane and smiling(:

u see me and twin always share the same thing. we both have a rough week. so yeah cheer up twin.

right now. all i want is sometime to relax by the beach and just have a meet up with twin and my lovely JEBONS!

btw. happy birthday to MARIAH AQILAH BINTE LUKMAN who turned 18 on 5 july. i love you okay. i bet she is going to puke when she sees this. nyehehhehehe

sometimes i just wanna run and never stop. and it seems like the time is now.

bye peeplings

think before you say. whoever made this line up forget to add on : and dun let your pride get in your way. you can never simply take back your words because the hurt you've caused can never be undone. say only what u MEAN and mean only what u SAY.

you might think that the purpose of your pride is to protect your own feelings. yes,true enough it does but it only applies to certain situations. and all the time putting your pride aside dosen't mean that you've lost the battle.

only those who are more experienced will get what i mean. if u THINK you got it, maybe you should think twice.

if you are asking yourself whether i am shooting anyone. the answer is no. i am just letting out what i feel. There is just too much usage of pride around me. to the extent that people lie, just to protect their pride.

i just wish this people would listen more to their heart and not their minds.

okay enough about pride.

i think too much sometimes so don't mind me.

production is just 6 weeks away, and we are still at scene one. i realise its me that delay everyone. i've not been attending regularly that ive been missing out and i try so hard to catch up when i come for practices but nothing transfers into my brain and i can never sychronize. something is definitely wrong with me. maybe its just because i lack confidence. ):

oh wells. ill try my best. i know im selected because they trust that i can do it well(: so yes. i look forward to more production training and nick said the first scene is the easiest scene yet we take so long just to complete it.

after drama just now. we went to eat.what's SA without gossips right? so we did some gossiping and found out some new yet old things. so yeah. that's it for the day.

and soon id be on my way to batam with mum(:
ill update tonight.
morning peepzsxz!

today was fun(:
i just love my SCmates(:
even though u guys disturb me until like shit....
i still love u guys.

pictures will be up soon not today or not now. im too tired.

call it co-incidence, call it fate

with everything's that happen i know what to do
i am not willing to destroy it at this point of time
push it all down again
i will get through this
just to get him, i will (:

i think i shall at least blog of what happen during those 20 days.

it was the start of the two weeks trem break which extended to three.

STAGE ARTS CAMP
13-15june
was the first event that happen.
it was great.(:
with those people, anywhere and everywhere can be fun.
even with conflicts we manage to laugh it off and smile at the end of the day(:
i love stage arts.
14 june
i left camp on the second night. to see my parents off at changi airport the next day. i had to bring my matress my bolster my pillow to my sister's house since i had to stay there till mum and dad comes home. nope it isnt my first time so im quite used to it(:

a few days after stage arts camp.

SOUNDCARD CAMP
from 17-19 june
yes i have to admit. we soundcard people come in a very small amount that when we slept in out allocated bunks it was more than enough for all of us to role from one end to the other. but ive got to tell u. not all things come good in big large groups all the time, for soundcard, our small amount is enought to turn the whole cca upside down(:
18 june
i left second night of camp. i had to go home to prepare for a trip a four days three nights trip the very next day at 6 am. i was sooo exhausted by the second night but i was excited for the trip i would have been more excited if mum and dad were the one sharing the same hotel room with me ):

GENTING TRIP
19-22 june
6am in the morning i was at golden mile sitting in the deluxe seater bus on my way to genting. it was nice to watch the sunrise but i prefer sunsets. and the trip would be fun if i had the time to ride all those thrill rides but i had to skip some due to some reasons. did shopping and bought some nice things which i really really like. scolded myself for spending over than a hundred ringgit on shopping. had very very good night sleep in the comfy and warm bed. im starting to miss the mist that made me chill a little. in short i miss being on the highlands. but good things have to come to an end. its the memories that lasts(:

22june
reached home at 11pm at night. super tired but still went online as i miss alot of people soooo much.

AUDITIONS FOR SOUNDCARD LUNCHTIME
23june
i had to prepare last minute for this. didnt even had time to send the minus-1 i actually decided the song only two hours before u went inside the room to audition. as usual. i dun do well in auditions so i din get selected. ): fret not! i can concentrate more on other stuff. still im kinda disappointed with myself. ):

STAGE ARTS YR1'S PERFORM AT JURONG POINT.
26-28 june
i couldnt attend the one on 26 since my MUM AND DAD CAME HOME ON THAT DAY =D
i was exhilirated on that day. it was like what? 2 weeks of not seeing them. i miss them soo much.i miss my own bed my own room. i miss everything at home. it was the day everything went bck to normal(:
so i went to watch yr1s perrform on 27 and 28. what else can i say? i HAVE A TALENTED BUNCH OF JUNIORS(: i love them loads. and for my group 3. WELL DONE PEOPLE. sorry i did not monitor you guys a week before performance day(:

for this week.
nothing special yet.accept tomorow.
can't wait for outing. its been a long time(:
thats all nights people.

last thing:

what u wrote last time carved a smile on my face when i was in need of one. thank you.

maybe if u only knew, by calling me that today you are hurting me as i know i wont here it ever again maybe. just maybe you would have thought twice.