this is life

oh yeah
its been long since i blogged
sorie lah
juz too lazy

okay first of all..

CONGRATULATUONS TO ST MARGS FOR BEING 2ND IN TRADITIONAL DANCE CATEGORY..
i was there supporting them..

how i wished i cu dance like twin..
she was great i tell u(;
and nicky sir spotted us as in "us"..
i was like wat the hell...haha

i was glad for dat dae..
i got a fren back..
yes i got my fren back..
glad adt i had two younger siblings for the dae
twin and farhan
i was like
dik, makan dik makan..
kesian dier macam diseksa oleh aku..
hahaha
we had fun together..
we were always fighting as in quarelling or watso eva
we were neva quiet..
well im glad it went dat way...

on the next dae..
i was toking to tis fren of mine..

he said
frenz..they come and go..
u juz duno when they will leave u...
tis is life
life sucks din i tell u..

maybe we went tru kinda same things..
maybe we kinda have the same problems..

and u know wat..
i agree with his words..
coz ive lost many frenz as daes goes by..
daes turns to months..to years..
and if we are fated to meet agn..
we will..

happiness is not sumthing we can pursue..
sumthings it might juz enlight upon u when u sit down quietly..
good things for good gals hu wait(;

tis is life..
todae we meet sum1 new..
annd todae itself we lose sum1 we knew..

tis cycle goes on and on..
its onli in ur deathbed when ppl will come and visit u..
dats it for the last tyme..

i juz wanna apologise to anione hum i have hurt in one way or another..
noone knows if i might juz drop dead after tis post..
so yeah forgive me..
thanx frenz(;

sumtimes..
i juz feel lonely..
as in
at home
where i onli have walls to tok to..

how i wished i had siblings
abang and kakak is always busy
and they always want to crave the path otu for me..
why can't they let me crave my own path
let me do wat i wan my way..
why muz it be their way..
i really wish i had more freedom to do things dat i wan..

even wat bus i wanna take to skol they have the sae...
i dun have a sae at all..
clothes dat i buy..its muz be their choice not mine..
i see others going shopping in their own..
me??
WINDOW SHOPPING ON MY OWN
n dats it
i juz wish i have more sae..

kakak and abang is alwasy scolding me
where did i go wrong??
FYI..kakak and abang wan to change me..but change urself first..
im sorie
but
when are u going to turn to him???
how long are u going to wait???
sampai hari kiamat??
sampai hari yg matehari terbit dari arah yg sebelah..
dat will be too late kakak and abg
start now please..
HOW I WISHED U WERE READING MY BLOG..
READING TIS POST
i wanna have a sae in my life
in wat i wan to wear
how i wanna do things
im so sorie
i apologise if tis a rude post..
but i juz had to let it out
n abg
u r always shouting at me..
giving dat smirk on ur face wheneva i ask u questions..
I KNOW IM DUMB
I KNOW IM STUPID
I KNOW IM DEAF
N DATS WHY I ASK U RITE???
THE SMARTER ONE
DEN FOR WAT I HAVE A ABG FOR??
ROTTING??
im sorie im really sorie..
but the way u treat me is like shit
even my frenz dun treat me dat way

kakak..
i juz wished..
u gave me more freedom
u are always asking me do things ur way..
hu knows my way is betta
but i wont know
coz u dun allow me to try
i need my family back..
i wan the happiness back
i wan us to sit in front of the tv together..
all five of us..
laughing together..
i really miss those times..

n abg..fyi i really missed those tomes u wreseled me when we were young..
we were so close
and now
we are like enemies
no worst den dat..

i miss laughter in the house..
i miss my old kakak and abg..
but i guess..
all i can do is..
nothing..
jzu follow wat they wan me to do..
let them have the sae
i have no right to disobey

i miss those times

yesterdae.
went out with syidah to VIVO!
we went round..
looking at dresses..
trying on shades..
n best of all..
CAMWHORING!!!

pictures are uploaded at frenster..
go and see and u will roll on the floor laughing..
hahahahaha

hid i tell u..
dat chat was really funny..
damn funny..
but the thing is..
I FORGOT TO SAVE IT..
DUMB ME..

aand like i have always said.
a fun dae is a fast dae

hey hey..
i m back..
alhamdullilah..
i have fulfilled sumthings dat i wanted to do since a long time ago(;
but i cant tell u..
its my secret..

i still got sumthings i wanna fulfill..
i wan to start ngaji again(;
i wan to be closer to allah..
i m ashamed of all the sins dat i have done..
i wan to be sumone not onli knowledgeable in media studies..
but in islamic studies too(;
insyallah i wanna go PERGAS(;

i now understand that everything has to be a balance.
a balance between earth and hereafter..
thx allah for evrything(;
thx hid..for being sum1 hu helped me in some ways(;
thx mum..for all ur naggings..
now u dun have to nag coz i have done wat u wanted..
thx dad for having the patience..
to abg and kakak..
i know u r busy with work..
but wateva it is..
please start soon(;
n how i wished u were reading tis..

i wanna change..
to be a betta pperson.
hanisah hu is more discipline..
hanisah with more patience.
hanisah hu is beautiful..on the inside n outside.

i guess.
i juz have to be more discipline..
with it i can do aniting(;

n i m determine!

yesterday was tiring..
woke up at 6.50am
meet atikah at 7.50am at mrt platform..
went to serangoon for haflah..
met marlinah otw there...
all of us like traffic light
i was wearing green
marlinah was wearing yellow
atikah was wearing red
JENG JENG JENG!!

so ppl had to stop slow down and den go when they walk past us..
NO LAH UZ KIDDING..
think wat?
we miss universe arh??
HAHAHAHAHA
so yar..

den reach madrasah..
on edumb guy called ISMAIL..
called me MINAH RAPE..
WAT THE HELL..
I WAS WEARING BAJU KURUNG OK..
nemai..
coz i was staring at israul..
so yar..
my fault oso..
den help the preparation..
blablabla.
CAMWHORE.
den it ended..
ok.
MY LEG WAS IN PPAIN ALREADY..
GOT BLISTERS ALREADY.
nemai..

den i wanted to go bugis..
on the way home..
called every person..
den rasyidah said..
YUP CAN!
den i was like yey!
i rushed home..
den step into the house at 1.30
went out agn at 2.25

MET HER..
OMG ITS BEEN YEARS SINCE WE LAST WENT OUT OK..
so catch up with her on some stuff..
den walk ard bugis..
saw alot of preety dresses..
duno which one to pick..
i wanted to buy shades..
BUT NONE MATCHED ME..
so yar..
didnt buy ani..

den went to eat at ljs..
den syidah teared over some stuff..
stuff dat u dun wanna know..
onli i wanted to know
hoping i cud help her out..

den 7.20PM..
walked ard parco bugis junction.
den spotted tis handphone cover..
so bought it..
den it was 7.30pm..
OH GOSH!
MY GIRL!
den went home coz i wanted to watch my girl..
in mrt..
we CAMWHORE!!!
den got tis two guys arh..
looked at us camwhore..
but i didnt care
NOT THEIR FATHERS PLACE MAH..
NEVA SAE CANOT TAKE PHOTOS ON TRAIN
so yar..
i continued to make damn dumb faces...
we laughed..
dey smiled..
so yar

a happy day..
always comes to a fast end..
but yar
had a fun time
thanx syidah(;

we will go n watch movie like u wanted the next tyme i m free ok(;

I WAN TO HAVE AN EX-ZHONGHUARIANS MEET UP!
i really wan to catch up with my closed ones
the one i lost contacts with after i shifted..
so yar..
i willl make it happen!
i m not posting any pictures here
coz it is already at my friendster