i noticed something
remember 25 july?
when i was suppose to perform with you?
for the last time?
with our song, my heart?
well i sacrificed that performance
for my dearest stage arts annual production.
i knew i did the right choice
but at the same time.
i miss-ed u.
yesterday 18 december.
i thought of coming down to school to watch u
getting your results.
from a distance.
but
once again
i went for stage arts alumni night instead.
and once again
i miss-ed u.
is this a way of allah telling me that
we are just not fated?
i duno.
i dun wanna think that way.
but twice in a row.
i miss-ed you.
and now i am sitting on my chair
with my hair untied.
staring at my laptop screen.
looking at my messenger list.
looking at your display name.
having the temptation to click and ask
but
i am afraid.
i don't wanna risk anything.
it will be too wierd.
arghhh.
if only anyone could help me.
just how was the results?
did he make it to sec 5?
or did he score so badly?
was he disappointed?
if he didn't make it to sec 5.
will i ever see him again in school?
will we ever sit on the same bus?
next to each other
trying to act as if everything's fine?
will we ever meet at future red cross events?
will there be any chance that we will perform that song?
ever again?
oh allah.
please give me one more chance.
for me to sing with him.
give me one more chance
to look deep into his eyes.
to have that final chance
to stand beside him
pretending that we are lovers.
please allah.
i am feeling low right now.
really low.
so i think i will move on to alumni night.
it was fun
especially decorating the room
hanaffi was so happy.
it looks as if someone's wedding.
with the patterns on the windows.
a silky cloth hanging from one side of the ceiling to the other.
the disco ball smack in the middle
the small little silver balls made by sheila and suma in one of the cloth
everything was pretty except me):
who cares right i know i am not.
the atmosphere was amazing.
like so rewang. HAHAHA
only without the chicken and the bawang.
too bad neela, david and vicki were not there.
and i know i sucked during the play.
i know i am not a good actor after all.
but like i said
who cares? it dosen't matter to anyone.
after talking about alumni night
i still don't feel any better.
and if you bothered to read from the start till here.
u are a great friend.
i thank you alot.
so i guess
thats it
i will u guys off the burden to hear all my emo stuff
i hate being emo seriously
okay nites
take care
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