i suddenly realise.
that i've been thinking about so many people feelings.
but i never cared abit about my feelings.
i do everything to help people.
but i do nothing to help myself.
i miss zainal's son.
and yes i am talking about white cow.
its been a few months since i last saw him.
the typical place that we always meet.
the bus number 83.
during sec 4.
i tired to help myself.
but did it work?
no. it never did.
instead things just got miserable.
5 nov 2007.(12.45 am)
was the day.
that you really broke my heart white cow.
u msged me.
saying u were sorry for avoiding me.
and you were doing that because.
u did not like me.
i did not cry.
coz i new i still had paper to sit for the next day.
6 nov 2007.(2.00 pm)
it was o-levels poa paper 2.
it was the day.
where i realise i was thinking abt the msg during the paper.
i realise i couldn't attempt a single question.
i just tried to write as many things as i could.
after 2 hours.
i just broke down
on the way out of the examination hall.
it was the day.
i was laughing for one second.
and i was crying for the other.
the cycled repeated.
lasting for more than 30 minutes.
all i could remember was.
you.
your msg.
my handphone that contains the msg.
the poa paper.
only those were the things that i could think of.
i managed to calm down.
with the help of my social studies teacher.
thx mr lee(:
if only you understood how hurtful your msg was.
if only i did something about it.
until now.
december 17 2008.
we cannot talk normally.
i dun think you know i can't forget u.
i duno.
i wish you all the best for N's results.
i don't see any point.
in me trying to get over you.
when i fucking know i can't.
i see no point
in me trying to ignore anyone.
or everyone.
i don't see why
i shouldn't come to see my juniors,
just to avoid you.
i no longer care.
i would be happy to see you.
but if u are not.
than too bad
there is nothing you can do.
aiyah.
what am i talking about?
i am ranting like nobodys business.
and its about U!
enough for today.
i feel better now(:
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